Jul. 18th, 2010

lthemilkeater: England in an Umineko Witch portrait (Iggy Witch)
Relevant Dreamwidth icon is relevant. Be prepared for some awesomely serious crack!fic here. You have been warned. Comments and constructive crit would be lovely~♥

Little Sealand shuffled around his house, dejected. All the big nations had ignored him again. No matter what he did, none of them would acknowledge him as one of their equals.
He was fed up with this. Marching over to the edge of his body, he stared down into the ocean. It was pretty far down. Was that a shark over there?(1) Maybe he’ll just turn around and-
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“Peter Kirkland,” she addressed him without any change to her demeanor. “Or rather, the Principality of Sealand. You wish to be acknowledged, and I can grant you that miracle.”
Sealand jumped around enthusiastically, initially because this girl had known who he was, but then because of her proposal. Looking up at her with wonder in his eyes, he could only gasp in excitement.
“People the world over acknowledge your existence, but that is what they are; people,” the girl continued. “No other nations acknowledges your existence and neither do their bosses. But I will acknowledge you.”
“Are you one of us?” Sealand asked.
“No. I am a Voyager. A witch. I am the Lady Bernkastel, Witch of Miracles. A traveler of the kakera(2), I observe game boards to appease my boredom,” Bernkastel smiled thinly. “I will acknowledge you, Peter Kirkland, the Principality of Sealand, as a witch in your own right. From this day forward, you shall be the equal of all other nations as the inheritor of the title of Golden Witch. I welcome you to the world, SEALAND the Golden Sorcerer. Don’t bore me.”
Little Sealand felt something blooming deep inside him. Butterflies of gold flitted about him, coming into and out of existence as easily as a puff of smoke. The witch, Bernkastel, disappeared in the shower of golden butterflies. When the last butterfly vanished, Sealand was left there alone. Had anything changed? He didn’t really feel that different. Maybe he’d just imagined everything.
Dejected, he walked back to his room. Upon walking in, however, he found himself staring at England.
“What are you doing here?” he cried.
He rushed forward to try to hit the elder nation, but crashed his face into a full-length mirror instead. Sealand trailed his fingers down the glass, touching this vision in the mirror.(3)
This wasn’t the jerk-face, it was him. He was taller, manlier, with a cape across his shoulders embroidered with a strange bird crest. Had his wish really come true? Was he really a grown-up nation now?
I’ve gotta rub this in jerk England’s face! he thought.
From outside the game board, the Witch of Miracles observed amusedly.


The doorbell rang as England was putting the pot roast in the oven. He almost dropped everything, the chiming startled him so much; he wasn’t supposed to have any other visitors at this hour.
“Want me to get it?” asked Spain, biting into a yellow bell pepper.(4)
“No need,” England replied.
Hastily, he made sure everything was set and rushed to the front door. Opening it, England stared up at a vaguely familiar face. Lowering his gaze, the One-Winged Eagle crest caught his attention. England slammed the door shut.
He ran back into the kitchen, swearing under his breath. “Scorpion… Where’re the scorpion medallions…?”(5)
“Who was it?” Spain chuckled. “A door-to-door salesman selling the third volume of a newly released book?”(6)
“No, you’re already here,” England threw open all of his cabinets and drawers, rummaging with shaking hands.
The floor was strewn with all manner of herb and spice. Drawers dangled from their alcoves and the refrigerator door stood wide open, chilling the air. England slammed his fist into the counter.
“Come along!” he took hold of Spain, who took the opportunity to pilfer a tomato from the fridge.
With a sense of urgency in his step, England led the two of them down a series of staircases. As they descended, the air became dank, devoid of the potpourri that normally sweetened England’s home. Each step was more slippery than the last; Spain nearly lost his balance at one point, but they kept up their pace.
At the very bottom was a large iron gate. England took a key from around his neck and unlocked it. The gate opened slowly, revealing a large chamber decorated with occult paraphernalia. Spain gave the other nation an odd look.
“This is my…” England coughed. “My magic chamber.”
He took his cloak from a coat rack and donned the weathered piece of cloth. Throwing a scorpion medallion at his guest, he instructed the Spaniard to hang it on the outside of the door and lock it tight. Piece of chalk in hand, England began drawing a magic circle on the floor.
“Stand back,” he warned. “I’m going to try to summon one of the 72 demons. Hopefully, I’ll be able to bring someone like Gaap to this world, but you should be prepared in case it attacks, whatever it is that shows its face.”
Spain leaned against a wall, munching on his tomato. Grimoire in hand, England stood at the top of the circle. He chanted in a low rumble as the circle began to glow. A wind picked up, licking at the edges of their clothes. At the locus of the magical diagram, a storm of golden particles coalesced. Slowly, a figure shrouded in blinding light emerged from the ground.

They stared in awe at the mysterious entity. Despite the light, they could make out some sort of staff in its hand. Truly, England must have summoned a powerful demon!

Waiting patiently, the summoner’s brow dripping with sweat, the demon at last finished materializing. The bright, otherworldly light faded to reveal what manner of monster England had brought forth.
“Oh bloody hell.”
“You sound displeased,” Russia giggled. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“I was trying to summon one of the 72 demons to fight against the Golden Witch. You are clearly not a demon.”

Smirking, Russia stroked his pipe.
England sighed. “All right, scratch that last bit. In any case, how are you supposed to hold your own against that Golden git?”
A single golden butterfly passed through the door, startling everyone to silence. It flew a lap around the room before settling at the edge of the magic circle where it exploded in a shower of more golden butterflies. Standing in the midst of these creatures that were as thin as air was Sealand.

1. Somehow, tohellwithromeo's awesome Durarara!! kinkmeme fill has influenced me to put a shark reference in here.
2. Kakera (カケラ) is a term from the When They Cry universe. The literal meaning in Japanese is "fragment" or "piece." In this context, it is used in reference to the myriad possibilities of a world and the pieces that allow for each possibility to exist.
3. I couldn't resist making a reference to the song "you-Visionen im Spiegel". The German literally translates as "Visions in the Mirror."
4. Somehow, I couldn't resist making a veiled reference to Iron Chef. ;;
5. Scorpions are thought to protect. In Umineko, Maria gives Battler and Jessica scorpion medallions/charms in the first arc to protect them from (magical) harm.
6. Somehow, I couldn't resist making a reference to all the pictures Himaruya's been putting up with Spain saying, "Volume 3 now on sale!"


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November 2010


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